Welcome to my blog, The Lapidary. This is where I regularly share my thoughts and gleanings on topics related to mental health, psychotherapy with soul, my specialties, and the modalities I use in my practice. The Lapidary is also where I announce new workshops, groups, and publications.
Why is the blog named The Lapidary? According to Merriam-Webster, a lapidary (derived from the Latin lapis, meaning “stone”) refers to “a cutter, polisher, or engraver of precious stones.”
As you probably noticed, my psychotherapy practice is called Lapis Healing Arts, after the legendary vivid-blue lapis stone. In alchemy, the lapis was thought to be the philosopher’s stone—the stone that turns dross into gold. Speaking metaphorically, the lapis is what transforms the most challenging aspects of life into qualities such as grit, compassion for self and others, and wisdom in action.
Therefore, The Lapidary blog name pays tribute to the important work of both therapist and client in shaping, refining, and polishing the lapis, the stone of transformation. In this way, I see therapist and client as dedicated craftspeople and artisans of the mind, body, and spirit.
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How to Support Someone Dealing with Job Loss
With the current spate of layoffs, you and/or someone you know may be reeling from a recent job loss. Besides the obvious sting of income and benefit loss, a layoff can contribute to many other less tangible but nonetheless painful losses.
The Lock-and-Key Relationship of Narcissistic Abuse and Codependency
According to the CPTSD Foundation, “People with codependency sometimes form relationships with [people with narcissism] and they develop complementary roles. The [person with codependency] has found a person they can pour themselves into and the [person with narcissism] has found someone who will always put them first.”¹
Learning to Embrace the Wisdom of Regret
Like other challenging emotions, regret humbly requests our acknowledgement, compassion, curiosity, and presence. When we receive regret with grace, it can serve its evolutionary purpose of helping us to reflect on and learn from our past mistakes—and to carry that hard-earned wisdom, clarity, and self-knowledge forward so we can make better choices here on out.
How to Manage Tense Interactions with Tonglen
It’s important to have tools that help you to respond thoughtfully during tense situations. Enter tonglen, a simple but potent mindfulness practice that helps to stoke compassion and understanding for self and others.
Reset Your Nervous System with a “Relax Snack”
Relaxation breaks are so imperative for managing stress, increasing resilience, and supporting mental, cognitive, and physical health, we need to take them several times daily. It’s just as important as the other basics of daily self-maintenance, like staying hydrated and getting adequate sleep.
Feed Your Mind with Supportive Self-Talk
Chances are you’ve already noticed in yourself and others just how powerful self-talk can be, for better or worse. Unsupportive self-talk can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Podcast on Psychotherapy with Soul
Back in February 2020, 6 weeks before COVID-19 hit stateside, I had the pleasure of recording a podcast with psychotherapist and author Kimberly Wilson on her podcast series Tranquility du Jour. In the podcast, we talked about how to infuse everyday life with soul, and exactly what I mean when I say that I do “psychotherapy with soul.”
COVID-19 Update
We are living in a strange new reality in the COVID-19 pandemic. Seemingly overnight, many abrupt changes have happened.