Narcissistic Abuse/
Codependency Therapy

 
 

Tired of relationships that feel abusive or one-sided? 

  • Wanting to understand why the same kind of emotionally destructive person gets magnetized to you time and again?

  • Looking to heal from the heartache of emotionally abusive relationships?

  • Longing to create real connections that feel safe, healthy, and loving?

  • Tired of “losing yourself” in relationships?

  • Wanting to better understand your needs, wants, and boundaries so you can effectively communicate them?

Does any of this sound familiar? While it can certainly be bittersweet to recognize yourself in questions like the ones above, take a moment and hold your heart. You are not alone. Healing from narcissistic abuse and codependency is certainly possible with the right support.

Narcissistic abuse is, unfortunately, highly prevalent. This kind of emotional abuse can occur in essentially any type of relationship—for instance, romantic partners, coworkers, friends, or family members. According to one estimate, more than 60 million people in the U.S. may have been affected by narcissistic abuse.¹

Emotional codependency—which often coexists within narcissistic abuse dynamics but can also happen on its own—is also widespread. Codependent patterns are often borne out of growing up in a family that had:

  • Difficulty functioning

  • One or more members who struggled with drugs or alcohol, trauma (including narcissistic abuse), or other serious mental health or physical concerns 

Unresolved narcissistic abuse and codependency symptoms can manifest as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, difficulty with drugs and alcohol, and even PTSD. This is why it’s crucial to get targeted, specific mental health support for overcoming codependency and narcissistic abuse.

“Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty, and infidelity.”

― SHAHIDA ARABI

Targeted, specific support

two blond women hugging

The good news is, that’s a thing! It’s my honor and passion to provide targeted, specific support to facilitate narcissistic abuse and codependency recovery. (I highlight the importance of targeted treatment because narcissistic abuse and codependency are relatively newer concepts in the psychology realm. They are rarely taught in much depth in most graduate training programs for mental health providers.)

I chose to focus on narcissistic abuse and codependency in my therapy practice because a.) they’re topics that I love to study! and b.) I saw the need for therapy tailored to these common but often poorly understood relationship dynamics. Narcissistic abuse can also be quite insidious and can even sometimes fly under the radar of otherwise well-trained therapists.

When you give yourself the gift of therapy for narcissistic abuse and codependency, it can free your energy up to cultivate and enjoy healthy, fulfilling relationships. When your relationships are better, you feel better. And when you feel better, you do better across the board in your life and in the world.

“sometimes
i love you means
i want to love you

sometimes
i love you means
i’ll stay a little while longer

sometimes
i love you means
i’m not sure how to leave

sometimes
i love you means
i have nowhere else to go”

― RUPI KAUR


 

What narcissistic abuse/codependency therapy looks like

When I work with people seeking to recover from the effects of narcissistic abuse and codependency, some common steps in the treatment include:

  • Learning more about narcissistic abuse/codependency

  • Identifying and building your inner and outer resources (tools, support system, nourishing hobbies, spiritual practices, etc.)

  • Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse/codependency, including narcissistic abuse red-flag behaviors

  • Learning about yourself and identifying your wants, needs, and boundaries (using modalities such as attachment-based talk therapy, expressive arts therapy, and somatic therapy)

  • Processing traumas with modalities such as Somatic Experiencing®

  • Nurturing self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-love

  • Developing communication and assertiveness skills

  • Defining what you want for your life and relationships and the steps you need to take to get there

  • Learning how to increase your emotional safety and psychological well-being

“Codependency is adaptive and helped us survive growing up in a dysfunctional family system. But that change cost us our individuality, authenticity, and our future quality of life.”

― DARLENE LANCER, JD, LMFT


 

Does this resonate for you? Some questions might still be on your mind, too… 

  • If we decide it’s a good fit to work together, we can certainly help you identify whether or not narcissistic abuse and/or codependency have happened or are currently happening.

  • As a therapist specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse, my role is primarily to facilitate, guide, and witness your process. However, it is not my place as therapist to tell you what to do, make choices for you, or pressure you to make certain decisions in your life. You are at the helm of your life and choices. As a licensed psychotherapist, there are certain situations where I am legally and ethically required to break confidentiality and file a report, such as serious instances of abuse and neglect of minors, elders, or dependent adults.

    Ending a relationship is a very personal choice. For some relationships, you may wish to explore other options first. I will provide honest reflection as well as further information on important topics by citing current research and literature, recommending articles and podcasts, etc. Moreover, I will support your inner inquiry into what serves your growth and needs.

  • While narcissistic abuse and codependency counseling is not synonymous with IPV/DV counseling, it may include support for IPV/DV if violence is occurring in the relationship. In addition to my graduate-level training on IPV/DV, I also completed a 30-hour training certificate in IPV/DV counseling and provided individual and group therapy at an IPV/DV counseling center, Safe Alternatives to Violent Environments (SAVE), as part of my pregraduate clinical training.

    Note: If you need support for IPV/DV right now, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text “START” to 88788.

  • I focus on working with individuals only in my private practice.

    Note: In relationships with active IPV/DV, couples therapy is actually not recommended. According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, “We at The Hotline do not encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to seek counseling with their partner. Abuse is not a relationship problem. While there can be great benefits for couples who undergo couples therapy, there’s a great risk for any person who is being abused to attend therapy with their abusive partner.”² In instances of active IPV/DV, individual and group therapy are recommended instead.

  • While I incorporate some anger management education and tools into my therapeutic work as needed, I do not specialize in therapy for unlearning abusive behaviors and managing anger. If you are looking for support in these areas, I suggest searching directories such as PsychologyToday.com for individual and group therapy focused on those areas.

“Contacting and living from our True Self is the central task of personal growth.”

― CHARLES WHITFIELD

Heal your heart with narcissistic abuse and codependency therapy

The heart is wise. Deep down, it knows that you deserve to love and be loved in a way that feels safe, honoring, and life-giving. If the compass of your heart is pointing you in the direction of therapy, I invite you to take the first step and click below to schedule a complimentary 20-minute intro call. In this call, we’ll see if it would be a good fit to work together.

 

References
1. DL. 60 million persons in U.S. negatively affected by someone else’s pathology. Safe Relationships Magazine. https://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/60-million-persons-in-the-us-negatively-affected-by-someone-elses-pathology-2. Published October 6, 2010. Accessed June 2, 2022.
2. National Domestic Violence Hotline. Should I go to couples therapy with my abusive partner? https://www.thehotline.org/resources/should-i-go-to-couples-therapy-with-my-abusive-partner/. Accessed June 2, 2022.